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The Power of Deeper Conversations

Just this week, I experienced how deeper conversations really do work with members on my team. It would have been so easy to ask a few superficial questions about how they’re doing, but I knew I had to go deeper. I managed to make a touchy situation so much better with both team members feeling more empowered and inspired to move forward.

Have you ever talked to someone and immediately detected that the person was not really into you but was just being polite?  They seemed to be only interested in having a superficial level conversation.

How did that make you feel?

I know for me, it makes me feel like I’m not important and that it’s a waste of time.  So, because of these experiences I vowed never to be one of those “superficial conversationalists”.

I said to myself that I would dig deeper and probe to find out more about them, what was important to the person, and to show genuine interest in their needs, issues and concerns.   

You see having a deeper conversation gives you power. 

Why? Because you have to ask questions and if you ask questions then you are in control of what is happening and the way the conversation is going.  

But you have to ask open ended questions, not ones that require a yes or no answer, but ones that require the person to state his or her feelings about something.  This usually requires you to use the word ‘why’.  This also ensures that you are listening to their answers so you can ask the next question.  It’s an extremely powerful skill.

We all know that having deeper conversations with our loved ones is so important to connecting and really understanding what is going on with them. 

It is all about showing that you care, that you have empathy.  

Russell Brunson, millionaire, entrepreneur and author, says the secret to identifying people’s internal struggles is to take their external struggle (the superficial one) and ask them “why” about five or six times.  By drilling down, you get below the surface to the real internal struggle that they are going through.

In his book Expert Secrets which is all about strategies to growing a massive movement in your business, Russell Brunson says you have to be a charismatic leader, and this requires you to show that you care.  

This is the power of deeper conversations.

Having a deeper conversation means you care.  So focus on this with others – your customers, clients or prospects because it will lead to a more powerful and rewarding connection.  And that connection leads to more business for you.

So let me ask you, are you ready for deeper conversations?

I’d love to hear. Hit reply and let me know.

p.s.  This works amazingly well on marriage, just ask my husband:)