Love Yourself First

Love yourself first.

This week I have the good fortune of having my birthday and valentine’s day back to back.

Two days of attention and love!  Fantastic. I love it!

But it also reminds me that, what is really important to our wellbeing, is the ability to love ourselves first.  

If inside, we don’t truly love who we are then it doesn’t really matter if others love us.

I speak from experience.  I didn’t realize the childhood trauma that I blocked out of mind would affect me so much later on in life.  And, years later, I also didn’t realize how much the trauma of losing a child at birth would hold me back from loving myself. 

It wasn’t until I went through bereavement counselling and energy therapy for both traumas, that I became aware of how much they played a factor in not loving myself. I had tremendous guilt and shame which created more negative self talk, only to make it all worse.

So over the years, I have been working on my inner self which has worked. It’s not only brought on more self love, but also the inner peace I was desperately seeking.

I love the book, Self Compassion by Author, Kristin Neff. She says, “when we give ourselves compassion, we are opening up our hearts in ways that transform our lives.”

We all have some type of adversity or trauma in our lives and its how we respond to it and what we do to better ourselves that will make the difference.

So now I really want us to think about how we can love ourselves, better.

Take inventory of who you are and especially your positive attributes. 

Review them on a daily basis. Have morning affirmations to remind you of how special you really are.

Too often we forget about our good points and instead we only focus on negativity.

This is also a time to think about our false and/or limiting beliefs.  Being aware of them allows us to deal with them in a more positive way.

“You have got to win in your mind before you can win in life.”– John Addison, Motivational Speaker and Author

Take time out for yourself, to treat yourself and know that you deserve it.  Don’t feel guilty about it.

This can be both your reward time and your down time.  Take time to meditate and think. It is very important and we all need to do this, regularly.  

“We become what we think about.” – Earl Nightingale, Motivational Speaker and Author

Invest in yourself, in your personal growth.  This means that you believe you are worthy of investment.  

Take a course or a class, read a book, exercise, attend a seminar, visit a museum, travel, anything that will expand your horizon, your knowledge or your ability.

Invest in your relationships because your relationships will help you grow, as well.

“Don’t go through life, grow through life.” – Eric Butterworth, Author

Finally, give of yourself. Yes give to others because giving makes a positive impact on someone else’s life.  

It is said that the best way to find yourself is to give back.  It has also been proven that giving back improves our health. It connects us with others.  It expands our awareness. It makes us feel so good about ourselves.

“We rise by lifting others.” – Robert Ingersoll, Writer and Author

So this Valentine’s Day, love yourself first.

By doing so, you will be able to love others so much more!