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Feb 10, 2018

Do You Love Yourself First?

This week is all about Valentine’s Day and as you know most people think about love and romance. Usually we give cards and gifts or plan a special occasion to indicate our love for someone in our life.

I often wonder why we think that we have to do this on only one day of the year when in fact we should be doing something every day of the year! 

Don’t get me wrong.  I believe in giving my love to others on Valentine’s Day, something that has been instilled in me since I was very young.

I remember in school handing out little valentines cards to my school mates and seeing who gave me a card, and who did not. For some, not getting cards from certain people made them feel down, unpopular, and disliked. Consequently they felt bad about themselves.

And in today’s world with social media and the internet, people can either feel good about themselves or bad about themselves almost every day of the week. 

So I want to talk today about loving yourself first.

To love others, you must first love yourself.” – Leo Buscaglia

Loving yourself first does not mean you give up loving others. It does not mean you have narcissist tendencies. No, not at all.  It just means that you look at yourself in a positive, proud, and accepting way.  

You are happy with who you are. You feel worthy of love.

For many people, falling in love with themselves is very difficult to do because of things that have happened to them or pain they may have inflicted on others – things that make them feel guilty and/or ashamed.  And this guilt or shame, consciously or unconsciously, pulls them down.  Deep down, they do not love themselves.

At one point, I did not love myself.

It was when I was in my ninth month of pregnancy with my second child, something terrible happened. At my doctor’s appointment (2 weeks prior to delivery) I found out the baby had no heartbeat. This was devastating and changed my life forever.

Here I was in extreme emotional pain, had to deliver my sweet baby Alison and just a few days later, had to arrange her funeral. 

Eventually, after several months I started to work through this ordeal, thanks to the Bereavement Organizations that focused on helping me look at things differently.

Through the grieving process, I learned that guilt and shame can be overcome, by loving yourself and taking care of yourself, first. 

So on this Valentine’s Day, why not write a card to yourself, do something you like to do, celebrate who you are and who you have become.

You are an awesome, wonderful and unique individual.  

Be proud of who you are!  Because loving yourself comes first!  

By loving yourself, you can then love others the way you want to be loved!

If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” – Charles Burowski

 

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