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Jan 22, 2018

From Your Head to Your Heart

The other day, I was having coffee with an acquaintance who was trying to get me to buy a product that she believed would be good for me. She kept talking, never asking me any questions, and telling me in every possible way, how this product was going to benefit me. I could tell she was following a prescribed (and very obvious) script.

It became apparent to me that the benefit of me buying the product was going to be hers, not mine. Needless to say, I declined.

Why did I decline?

Because I felt she was not being authentic with me. She was not asking me questions to find out my needs. She seemed more in her head, rather than speaking from the heart. And what was important to her was making a sale, not truly helping me.

We have all been there whether it is with a car salesman, orthodontist, doctor, motivation speaker, teacher, coach etc. When we detect that the individual is not serving our best interests and speaking from their heart, we recoil.

We have a gut feeling that whatever they are telling us, selling us, pushing us, is not right for us, even if it is.

What is happening here is that these people are speaking from their head, their conventional ways and not from their heart. The agenda in their mind is driving how they interact with you. And when you pick up on it, or sense it, you react negatively.

Its been said so many times that people want to work with people who are authentic. What does that mean?

Well it means, that the individual is aware, transparent, trustworthy, and truly interested in you. They act spontaneously, demonstrate originality and share their vulnerability. They look you straight in the eyes and are honest with you.

They are real, not fake, and you know it from the outset.

It reminds me of when my sister introduced me to the idea of a home based business in direct sales. She asked the right questions which made me feel important. She didn’t come from a place of ‘selling’ but from a place of truly wanting to help me get to where I wanted to go.

She discovered my ‘why’ which was to create a revenue stream where I could work around my young children’s schedule and still make enough money (and more) to replace my corporate job.

Initially I was finding objections as to how it wouldn’t work. She handled the questions with such grace, gave me all the pros and cons and acknowledged my concerns.

Naturally, I said yes.

When you are listening with your head, you are in fact being someone else, not yourself. You are not natural in your actions, therefore, the outcome is not what you expected.

My mentor always told me to move my thinking from my head to my heart. It was the best advice I could have ever received. It changed how I interacted with people. It has changed how I do my business for the better.

By doing so, it shows that I care about them, not about me. And it feels so right. They feel better and I feel better.

So lead from the heart, let go of the old conventional ways of thinking, ask questions and listen to the responses, and show you care. By doing so you will be much more successful!

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde, Author

 

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